Random thoughts from shopping.

I have so many thoughts in my head and so much emotions in my heart now. Shopping can be a pretty depressing activity at times. The ability to go shopping is a blessing but the inability to purchase the goods can be really discouraging. This is probably a pretty shallow topic to write about but whoever said I'm not shallow anyway? =P

Shopping malls are great places to hang out; they come complete from supermarkets to cinemas to gyms to eating places to beauty parlours to you name it, they have it. How then can it be a depressing place to be? Well, firstly, for those who aren't as financially 'sound' as the others, being able to see things you like yet can't possess can be rather disheartening. Secondly, shopping malls, alongside the media, gives beauty a whole new definition. If a bigger sized lady can't fit into the outfit the skinny manequin is wearing, does that mean she's fat? If that really thin girl can't fit into that dress on the racks, does that mean she's horrendously skinny?

I just finished watching this program on TV called 'Love Asia' where the top ten models of Asia (includes Maggie Q) were featured doing some shots in Malaysia. According to Microsoft Word, the word 'model' can be replaced by words like 'representation', 'example', 'ideal' and 'replica'. And if these girls are the example and the ideal, where does that leave the rest of the world? With all the things the world is promoting and offering now, is there a place for acceptance and love for them who are not externally beautiful?

On a completely different note, I used to think I didn't care what others say or think about me. If that was true, why am I feeling this way today? Why do I feel so obligated to do things I do not want to do? Why do I struggle so hard to bluntly, but politely say a "No thanks"? And where I want to say a "Yes, please!", I am unable to because I shouldn't? Being hopeful requires plenty of effort, stamina and strength. I am going to run low on supply soon. Please don't disappoint me anymore.